Sport - Caption Competition winner 141
Holland’s Edgar Davids and David Beckham’s favourite referee Kim Milton Nielsen get cosy. Read on to find out whose clever caption won them a very, very nice prize.
But just what was said when football’s most famous spectacle-wearer and the often controversial official shared a sweet moment?
Our judges decided that Si Griffin, UK gave us the wittiest take on events with this imaginative effort:
Davids acts quickly to prevent the first helium-filled ref from floating away. And it’s a week of double glory for Mr Griffin because he’s also usurped Mike Goudge as the week’s most prolific captionner - with a whopping 15 entries published.
As promised Si wins a mystery prize, which will definitely be either a luxury holiday in the Bahamas or a Sport Interactive goody bag.
But let’s not forget the other competitors. A couple of our regulars make up the top three. Here are their entries, plus the best of the rest.
Third place: Ed Duffy, UK
Pick-pocket finals ends in a draw. Match Of The Day Nielsen: I just blew to say, I’ve booked you. (Explanation for the Andy Bell and Stevie Wonder arrive at the pop stars charity football game. Nielsen: If you were as tall as me I’d be touching your bum now. Davids: These glasses you sold me are no good, I still can’t see Gerry Slawson! Tommy Lee had to have a word with Will about his costume for the MiB3 audition. Nielsen: No Edgar, you can’t bring your dog onto the pitch. New hairdo, fake tan and comedy disguise glasses - 250 quid. Davids: No I don’t need any help with crossing the road but I’d be grateful if you had any tips on crossing the ball. The Czechs questioned the ref’s impartiality during the singing of the National Anthems. Davids: Are you sure this mutual kidney examination is entirely necessary doctor? “I just don’t see why you always have to make such a spectacle of yourself!” When Kim agreed to go on a blind date he didn’t think it would be with Stevie Wonder! The new series of Blind Date has really gone downhill! With ever increasing fears over security, frisking soon became second nature. Barrage of ‘Tango’ jokes crashes BBC Sport webserver. Davids is consoled after he finds out that compensates for shortened play, rather than shortened players… In a new move for Michael Barrymore, ‘My Kind of Midfield Dynamo’ went surprisingly well. As yet another decision went his way; Davids became attached to the referee. Elton John and David Furnish out on the town… Neilsen: “I got you to hold my hand.” Nielsen “You know Mel, I always thought you were the best-looking one of the Spice Girls”. Edgar’s blind date with the leggy Swede called Kim wasn’t going quite to plan. Amazingly, after many years as a pro-footballer Davids still had problems with the on-side rule. Slim ‘n’ Shady Here we come, Hollandaise sauce. Two Cap Comp competitiors complain that they can only beat Mike Goudge if a: the BBC publish all their entries and b: they stop mis-spelling Milke Goudge’s name…. The Dutch players wait in eager anticipation as Davids leads the referee into their ambush. The referee’s ‘personal’ assistant. Whatever you do, don’t mention Nicky Butt… Learning to take the ref with the smooth… In order to thwart Gerry Slawson, the two footballing professionals agree to remain totally visible. “So you’re saying if I put sequins on the back Beckham will love me again?” It’s the last wife-swapping party I’m coming to. Actually they’re not glasses…they’re swimming goggles. I’m afraid of the flood-lights… “Uncle Kim, that naughty David Beckham just kicked me in the shin”. “There, there now, just let me get to my red card.” “Did you see me with Beckham on the caption competition the other week?” As he turned away, the ref knew at least he’d won the crowd’s respect with his ‘All the Pies’ sticker. I really think we could be the new Torville and Dean Come on, let’s do our best to help Mike Goudge into the Guinness Book of Records. Czech-mate. No, I asked for a vodka-and-orange, not an Edgar-in-orange. Love is…being proud of your partner no matter what their job is. Kim got ready to implement the new Fifa directive - eliminate the tackle from behind. Davids distracted the referee whilst Beckham gave Simeone a proper kicking this time. You’re much nicer than that other David. “Well, it’s got to be better than shaking hands with a seven-foot zebra.” muses Edgar Davids. “Make a pass at the Dutchie on the left hand side”. Fancy an orange squash? After ten pints, Edgar’s vision became impaired trying to pull a leggy blonde. Nielsen: “If you hadn’t messed up that triple salko, we’d have been in with a shout there.” Kim: So Edgar, I have to ask you…why the glasses? The Men In Black apprehend another bug-eyed alien. Big Arnie finally gets to grips with the alien from predator. Davids: our future is so bright that I have to wear shades. Referee-sy Lover The sequel to ‘Strictly Ballroom’ didn’t quite live up to expectations. Another special moment on Valentines Day, Davids given a card Nielsen: “Becks says, can he have his shirt back yet?” The new Milk Tray advert gets a mixed reception. In one of football more tender moments, Davids and Neilsen compare hernias. FIFA directive 1327: To make sure no incidents are missed, players shall be assigned their own personal referee. Kim: This reminds me, I must get in touch with that Greek Newcastle player, ‘Davids-ass’. Halfway line-dancing. The tango competition got off to a bad start when both competitors tried to lead. Kim: “I’ll buy you dinner tonight.” Jaffa do the fan-tango? The Director’s cut of Moulin Rouge featured some surprising cameos. Davids checks out his new purchase - the perfect counterpoint to his Becks figure in the front room. “Danske, Kim?” Love is blind. “My eyes are like limpid pools you say, Edgar? Well yours are like headlamps on a 4WD! Ohhhhh, the grand old duke of York. These beer goggles really do work…you look gorgeous!! The paparazzi fall for Nielsen and David’s April fool. Milton? Oh, I had it changed by deed poll from Kong. Davids: “You know what Kim, this time next year, we’ll be millionaires” Pass the Dutchman from the left-hand side. Jordi La Forge thanks his barber for the hair extensions. As Nielsen lowered his hand, Davids began to realise the full implications of the half-time ventriloquism act he’d foolishly agreed to. Davids and Goliath Kim and Edgar discuss tactics before the start of the three-legged race. Is it just me or does this remind you of the film B.F.G? UEFA anger management trials get off to a good start… Bullseye host, Jim Bowen, takes Davids to “come and see what you would’ve won…” Davids gets the wrong idea when Nielsen asks for his number… The introduction of a three-legged race greatly improved the half-time . I’ve never seen an eye-bra before. Ed thought Kim helping him off the pitch was stretching the Stevie Wonder gag a bit too far. Davids will at last be able to bring Nielsen and Beckham together after another audacious raid on Tussauds. A case of the blind leading the blind. Davids is leaving the field - he seems to have pulled something. Edgar reassures Kim that there will be space for his witticisms despite Mike Goudge’s prolific display. The introduction of a three-egged race greatly improved the half-time entertainment. Kim: You put your left foot in… Now take your left foot out… or I’ll book you! When I look at your glasses I keep seeing a reflection of perfection itself.
Edgar Davids explains to the ref that this game was supposed to be just a walk in the park. Act 8 ‘The Jaffa Cake Dancers’ was the most unexpected in the history of Dutch ‘Opportunity Knocks’. Kim: “I’m better at the egg and spoon race.” Adidas? - Oh I thought I had to have Davids ass on my arm. One man down, Davids cunningly persuades Nielsen to join the wall… Nielson in shock after giving a “girl” a cuddle. “I must say, Jaap Stam was much better at the hokey cokey than you Edgar.” Dr. Evil inspects Mini-Me’s “tractor-beam” sunglasses…. Edgar’s blind date with the dark leggy stranger didn’t work out quite as expected. Refs never make passes to players that wear glasses. Kim: “Edgar, if I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?” Lyric influenced Kim Milton finds his own “long-haired lover from Amsterdam”. Edgar Davids seen giving lessons in Highland dancing: “Right Kim, now remember it’s heel, toe - heel, toe - 1 2 3….” Referee charm school pays off for Kim Milton as Edgar Davids agrees to meet him after the match. Siamese twins have problems in choosing which career in football to take. “And the winner of tonight’s Tango comepetition is…..couple number eight.” Prankster referee Milton gives superstar Edgar Davids a wedgie. “You feel OK: how am I?” PLEASE don’t give me a red card ref: it’ll clash with my shorts… You’re right, our future’s bright … Edgar: “I can lead you to Oshtin Powersh Farsher…” Davids says “I have a spare pair of glasses in my locker if you want to borrow them…” Davids says” Excuse me Mr Nielsen, I was wondering if you could get me your sister Bridget’s autograph.” “You’ve just been Tangoed, Kim.”
Edgar Davids got up close and personal with referee Kim Milton Nielsen during Holland’s 1-1 draw with the Czech Republic in Saturday’s Euro 2004 qualifier.
Second place: Gerry Slawson, UK
No one could relax at the pick-pockets’ annual bash.
Les Dennis reminds young Edgar that one more top answer would win the Davids family the car.
The best of the rest:
Don Goudge,
UK
Davids: “When they said football lacked passion, this isn’t what they meant, Kim!!”
Rob Morris, UK
Mark Abbott,
England
hard-of-thinking: Davids looks a bit like Stevie Wonder who had a hit with I Just Called to Say I Love You.)
Richard Day, Singapore
Nielsen: Well I have seen him and I wouldn’t complain if I were you!
Piers Taker, Singapore
Richard Day, Singapore
H Jarse, Singapore
New shirt with first name and higher number - 50 quid.
Beckham getting sent off again by Nielsen - priceless!
Piers Taker, Singapore
Richard Day, Singapore
H Jarse, Singapore
Richard Day,
Singapore
Joanne Buttle, UK
Rob Ascough, England
Brownie, UK
Si Griffin, UK
Ed Duffy, UK
Adrian Wade, British Columbia, Canada
Grae, UK
Si Griffin, UK
Richard Pasco,
Uk
Davids: “I got you to understand.”
Neilsen: “I got you to walk with me.”
Davids: “I got you to talk with me.”
Both: “I got you babe.”
Si Griffin,
UK
John Lloyd, Ireland
Rob Ascough, England
Mark Abbott, England
Mark Abbott,
England
Walking down the street,
We get the funniest looks from,
Everyone we meet…
Vinnie, Ireland
John Lewis,
Finland
John Lewis, Finland
Si Griffin, UK
Si Griffin,
UK
John Lewis,
Finland
John Lewis,
Finland
John Lewis, Finland
Chris Jackson, England
Geoff Dagger,
UK
Adrian Wade, British Columbia, Canada
Chris Fields,
UK
David Hamm, UK
Mark Abbott,
London
Mark Singleton,
England
Dylan Stupid, UK
David W,
UK
Rob Falconer,
Wales
Michael Eaton, England
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK
Si Griffin, UK
Paul Monkman,
England
Si Griffin, UK
Dave Smith,
NL
Colin Beasley,
Wales
Mark Singleton
Ed Duffy, UK
Edgar: Well Kim, when I look into your eyes, I must say, your beauty is almost blinding.
Kim: Oh I see, so why long braided hair, Edgar?
Edgar: Well I wouldn’t want it getting in the way of my eyes when I’m entranced with your beauty, Kim.
Kim: Oh I see, so why the orange strip, Edgar.
Edgar: Well Paul Gscoigne was in the changing room there, ate one more pie and exploded.
Andrew McFarlane, Scotland
Si Griffin,
UK
Mark Singleton
Kalk, Holland
Si Griffin,
UK
Graham Small, Wales
Steve, UK
Tall Tone, England
Nick B,
England
Pigsy, UK
Si Griffin, UK
Martin Rose, England
Martin Mills,
England
Garry Waddell, U.K.
Ed: “No, we’ll go dutch.”
Martin Mills,
England
Kevin Darley,
England
Martin Mills, England
Marcia, Australia
Chris Wheatley,
New Zealand
Ralph Critchley,
England
Chris Wheatley, New Zealand
Bill Innes,
Canada
Steve, Noosa, Australia
KP, UK
Byron Greedy, Wales
Michael Eaton, England
Ed,
UK
The ref signals for eight minutes of Edgar-time.
Si Griffin,
UK
Si Griffin, UK
Si Griffin, UK
Si Griffin,
UK
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK
Darren Astley, Wales
David W, UK
David W, UK
David W, UK
Richard Morris, Scotland
Robert Lindsay,
UK
Martin Mills, England
Ed Duffy, UK
Mike Goudge,
U.K.
Nick B, England
James, UK
Richard Morris, Scotland
Adrian Wade, Canada
Jan Wroblewski, Surrey
Mike Goudge, U.K.
Martin Mills, England
Martin Mills,
England
“I’m a huge fan, Mr. Nielsen. And that Grecian 2000’s taken years off you.”
Ed Duffy, UK
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK
Davids: “If that decision was correct, I’m a Dutchman … d’oh!”
Ed Duffy, UK
David W, UK
Rob Morris,
UK
Richard Webber, England
John Lewis, Finland
Naomi Grace, UK
Howard Gough,
UK
Michael Eaton, England
Mike Goudge, U.K.
Richard Morris, Scotland
Mike Goudge, U.K.
Mike Goudge, U.K.
Mike Goudge, U.K.
Mike Goudge, U.K.
John Lewis,
Finland
John Lewis, Finland
Clare Daniele,
UK
John Lewis,
Finland
David Dibb, UK
David Dibb, UK
KP,
UK
No seriously in Italy and Spain they are saying orange is the new black
Justin Price, England
Kim: “Edgar, when I said to come and tango with me I didn’t mean you had to wear tango clothes…”
Phil Lloyd-Bushell, England