Dating tip

“Top tip for a first date: whilst in mid-flow conversation, trying to impress your date with your worldly wisdom, don’t call her by the name of the date you had the previous night. Alas, it was a lonely walk home!”
James, Notts in the TMS inbox

1854 - 119-3 The nightwatchman having failed, Kevin Pietersen comes to the crease and leaves one first ball that just misses off stump. And the big man leaves the next two alone as well to see out the over.

1851 - WICKET! Hoggard c Gayle b Collymore 0, 119-3
Strauss clips Collymore for a couple first ball before handing Hoggard the strike with a single. Colly responds by sending his first delivery to England’s nightwatchman for five wides, but he gets it right next ball, tempting Hoggard to drive at one outside off and the Yorkshireman edges to first slip. That’s not what he was there for, to drive at balls outside off. Doughnut.

1847 - 110-2 Edwards’s first ball to Hoggard goes past the outside edge but it’s a no ball, and the Hoggwaller sees off the last two legitimate deliveries.

1843 - WICKET! Vaughan c Bravo b Edwards 19, 110-2
Oops! Sorry Vaughany! Fidel Edwards replaces Chris Gayle, who’s heart-rate was clearly in danger of topping 50, and Strauss picks up a couple to the leg side before nudging a single. Vaughan falls to the fourth ball of the over, though, edging an attempted drive to Dwayne Bravo at second slip who takes a sharp chance. Muted celebrations from the tourists but at least it woke Chris Gayle up… And Hoggard will come in as nightwatchman - watch this for strokeplay.

1838 - 106-1 Another maiden, this time from Collymore who is on for the clearly injured Dwayne Bravo, but England could not be more comfortable at the moment. Cue commentator’s curse… Oh, and so far, Elvis Pressley, David Bowie, Liam Gallagher and Sarah Brightman(!) have all emailed in to confirm they’re reading up on the cricket. Which is nice.

“Am I the only one who’s a bit bemused that the text bloggers have become so outrageously fascinating to the rest of us mere mortals? It appears that we all want to know every detail about them - what they look like, how old they are, how good they are at gigs etc. ould it be that the current test series is so immensely boring that we are all drawn to wonder about the lives of our text tormentors? Is this a variant on the famous “Stockholm Syndrome” whereby captives become curiously attracted to their captors? I’d be interested in the views of any psychologists out there…”
Colin in the TMS inbox

1834 - 106-1 Vaughan finally gets a Gayle delivery away - the first run he’s conceded in four overs - but that’s as good as it gets for England as another over flies by. I really wish they’d consider the e-commentators when turning their arm over, I’ve hardly any time to write or read your emails - rubbish!

1831 - 105-1 Bravo continues and Vaughan attempts to feed off a buffet ball, but misses the ball with an expansive pull stroke. Just a single off the over, but Bravo is clearly struggling with that ankle. Why on earth they are perservering with him is anyone’s guess. For those who are wondering, the girl from the other night has been in touch and, although adamant she’s not a stalker, our next date is still very much on. Jubbly.

1827 - 104-1 Yet another maiden from Gayle - his third in a row. He can’t be that hard to play surely?

“Are there any other legendary musicians looking in?” Jim Emery, Kilburn in the TMS inbox

1824 - 104-1 Dwayne Bravo comes into the attack and it’s a poor start - 72mph in the middle of the wicket and Strauss helps himself to four easy runs on the pull. Strange decision to turn to Bravo, for me, with the all-rounder clearly feeling his ankle after an earlier slip in the outfield. He swaps to round the wicket, though, and Strauss survives an lbw shout when the ball raps him on the pads outside the line. A dink into the leg side brings up the three figures for England and the hosts are looking good, with Vaughan carving away for four last ball.

1821 - 95-1 Chris Gayle, still wearing about 11 jumpers, is almost in danger of breaking sweat bless him. Well, that’s a lie actually, he bowls down six fairly tame deliveries on a mark and it’s another maiden. He’s the new one-day captain for the Windies you know - can’t really imagine him berating his team-mates, erm, ever, he’s so consummately laid back.

“Not to leave out Dave H’s other date - does she only see dead people? If so why was she out on a date with Dave?”
Ang, Brixton in the TMS inbox

1817 - 95-1 Collymore continues but it’s all a bit too comfortable for England’s batsmen. Three singles precede a wide from the tall seamer, and England are just 192 runs behind.

“Tell Guy I don’t know about legendary, but we are one and the same. Now retreated into a world of bluegrass flatpicking… and reading the cricket while I practice my scales. Living near Islington so curious about your gig. I checked out myspace but there are several Sam Lyons… until we know which is you it’s a little unfair to dismiss your musical prowess.”
Andy Metcalfe in the TMS inbox

Well I’m more than a little coy now I know that a living legend is curious Andy, but I’m the Sam Patrick Lyon one…

1813 - 91-1 Chris Gayle continues to examine Strauss’s cut technique, but the opener can’t get one away and it’s a maiden.

1810 - 91-1 Strauss kicks off the over with another flick off his pads for three - you can’t bowl there Corey. But Collymore looks more threatening against Vaughan, who almost gets himself in trouble with one that zips over the stumps, stumbling and slipping a bit in a ‘You’ve Been Framed’ fashion, before recovering his balance and offering Colly a winning smile. Isn’t that nice.

1807 - 88-1 Bit of a surprise from Daren Ganga, who turns to Chris Gayle’s off spin to break the partnership. Nothing too worrying for Strauss and Vaughan, who pinch three from the over to bring up their 50 partnership.

“Is this “Andy Metcalfe” (the gig enquirer) the legendary Andy Metcalfe who played bass with Robyn Hitchcock, The Soft Boys and doubtless many others? If so, I think you might be out of your league musically, Sam.”
Guy, Leighton Buzzard in the TMS inbox

“I’d like to hear about the woman who was arrested on the date - did Dave H have to put up bail? Did he just sit there in the restaurant after she was taken away? How could you style that one out?”
Mark, Walthamstow in the TMS inbox

1804 - 85-1 Strauss notches a couple with a tuck behind square, before a thick outside edge falls short of Devon Smith at second slip. Further agony for Collymore off the last ball, Vaughan flashing at a wide one but, again, the edge falls short of the slip cordon.

“I once hopped off a tube at Earl’s Court as the doors were closing to chat up a dishy guy on the platform. We went on a date the next day… But turned out he wasn’t a cricket fan.”
Helen Abbott in the TMS inbox

1759 - 82-1 Powell, in his 10th consecutive over, keeps the ball wide of Andrew Strauss’s off-stump as the opener looks for the two runs that will bring him his half century. And he does it with a punched three through the covers, and the relief is written all over his face. Let’s hope that’s only the start. Powell finishes the over with another jaffa past Vaughan’s outside edge - the trouble being that the occasional jaffa is surrounded by a lot of dross from the tourists.

“Met my girl at a whisky tasting - she was there with her husband. We’re still together, happily, after 10 years.”
Mike, Vilnius in the TMS inbox

1754 - 79-1 Some suspicion among my colleagues in the office here that we might just get play all the way up to 1900 BST, with the weather looking better than it has all week at the Riverside. Maiden over from Collymore.

“Are you avoiding telling us about your gig? Where exactly/what do you play/name of band if applicable etc. You mentioned it, so I think we deserve the details…”
Andy Metcalfe in the TMS inbox

Sorry Andy (and many others, thank you), just reluctant to blow my own trumpet and/or self-promote! Still, as you ask, it was just a short solo gig in Islington (Old Queen’s Head). And I rocked the gaff obviously!

1748 - 79-1 Powell throws (not literally) down a maiden with Strauss content to leave anything outside of off stump. Just one delivery has Strauss in trouble, the opener edging well short of the slip cordon fourth ball, but it’s another mixed bag from the Windies.

“Just switched on TMS where Blowers and Vic Marks are discussing the origins of “mincing” (and not the mincing meat variety) with a quote from the Bible (old testament of course!). Mincing on the radio and stalking on-line - who would have thought when I woke up this morning this was how the day would turn out!”
Stuart in the TMS inbox

1744 - 79-1 Better from Collymore, with a single apiece from Vaughan and Strauss - the latter a rushed one that just beat the throw from point - the only scoring shots of the over.

“I set up a polo club at university with the sole intention of meeting nice young ladies. It worked! I married one of them last year.”
Charlie, London in the TMS inbox

“Dont know about your stalker Sam, but I’m kind of interested in Dave H’s lass who had her own dungeon, any chance you can put me in touch with her?”
Steve, Hong Kong in the TMS inbox

1739 - 77-1 Daren Powell finds some late movement to beat an attempted off drive by Michael Vaughan that somehow misses the England skipper’s edge. He rotates the strike/gets out of the firing line (delete as applicable) with a pinched single and Strauss shows him how it’s done, pulling a Collymore long-hop for another boundary.

“I met a girl when we both went to see Romeo and Juliet in Coventry…27 years ago. Still love her, but our families are at war.”
Thomas Glyn in the TMS inbox

“Talk about strange ladies. We went to a friend’s BBQ last night and there was a lady there who classed herself as a ‘white witch’. She spooked my wife so much that she has not muttered a single word today.”
Will, Hants in the TMS inbox

1736 - 72-1 Collymore’s radar is really off at the moment. A no-ball is followed by another leg-side half-volley that is dispatched to the boundary with ease by Strauss. Colly responds by marking out his run-up again and it yields some improvement with three accurate deliveries to finish the over.

“I met my girlfriend when I tried to sell her some Marxist propaganda at university. As chat-up lines go, “Do you believe revolution is possible in modern-day Britain?” must be fairly unusual. She looked at me like I had just arrived from another planet.”
Neil O’Conner in the TMS inbox

1730 - 67-1 Another slice of luck for Strauss, who guides one through the slip cordon with soft hands for his eighth boundary to move to his highest score of the series so far. And, as the sun comes out over Chester-le-Street, he guides one off his legs for a couple before pinching a single last ball.

1726 - 60-1 Vaughan may not have quite settled himself yet, but he is trying his best to keep Strauss going. With the Windies full of chat around his partner, especially from Sylvester Joseph, Vaughan repeatedly strides down the pitch and shouts words of encouragement to Straussy. Collymore follows a wide with another off-target delivery, a no-ball, that Strauss cuts away on the stretch for three. But Collymore comes back from a woeful over with an absolute jaffa with one that seams and bounces narrowly past Vaughan’s outside edge. The England skipper responds by clipping one off his hip for four. A real mixed bag there.

1721 - 51-1 Michael Vaughan gets off the mark off the 12th delivery faced, a streaky edge through point for a boundary. Another fine over from Powell, though, who is getting the ball through at good pace and finding a modicum of swing.

“I sat on the lap of a chap sat in Coventry University’s Students Union in 1991, and asked him to walk me home - we have been married for the last 12 years and have 2 children!”
Kate, Rugby in the TMS inbox

1717 - 47-1 Corey Collymore comes on in place of Fidel Edwards, with the Windies looking to stem England’s scoring rate. A no ball aside, he succeeds, with Strauss looking solid against some accurate bowling.

“Picked up a hitchhiker, then again the same one a few times more…. We’ve now been together 8 years.”
Clif G in the TMS inbox

And I thought my encounter was scary Clif G…

“Ahem, I met the missus while stuck on a lift in a John Lewis Department store. We were in there for a good four hours. Now we live in a tiny flat together, not much has changed.”
Jack, Herts in the TMS inbox

1712 - 46-1 Another tight over from Powell, who beats a Vaughan waft outside off stump third ball. The England skipper connects with one but it is fielded well in the covers and he is still on a duck. A maiden.

“I think liking cricket automatically means that you’re fun, intelligent and attractive. Thought we all knew that.”
Matt, Wakefield in the TMS inbox

1708 - 46-1 Andrew Strauss must have a bad leg or something, because he’s very keen to avoid anything like running. He deliberately flashes one over the slips for yet another four, before a streakier shot next up brings the same result. That’s two slices of luck for Strauss now, who is looking in decent touch otherwise.

“I wouldn’t worry about it mate, for starters she knows what the commentary’s like so she should expect a bit of banter. On the question of how you met, be honest - it’ll be a good story in years to come, if you survive the second date that is.”
Jason M in the TMS inbox

So, come on, can anyone tell me a strange/stranger story of how they came to meet a partner?

1704 - 38-1 Daren Powell continues and it’s a neat over from the paceman, Strauss content to see it out without alarm before pinching a single off the last ball.

1647 - WICKET! Cook c Ramdin b Edward 13, 37-1
Cook gets in on the act now, striking consecutive boundaries off Fidel Edwards. The first, off a no ball, is clipped off his pads and the second one is picked up off off stump and thumped through midwicket. But he’s gone! Cook tries to flick a leg-side delivery off his pads but succeeds only in edging it behind to Denesh Ramdin. It should’ve been a freebie and Cook looks rightly disgusted with himself.

“Does this girl have a friend?”
John, London in the TMS inbox

“Ha! That was an interbobble stalker, was it? She looked lovely indeed. Well, should she need a shoulder to cry on after your harsh “nutter” online outburst… ;)”
Aidan R, who was at said gig, in the TMS inbox

1653 - 28-0 Strauss might just be scoring his way back into form here, cracking a pull to the boundary to take his score to 20 - all through fours. Powell zips one past his bat next ball in reply, but this is more than a fair start from the England openers. Jubbly.

“Your “stalker” sounds fun, intelligent, attractive AND likes cricket - go for it!”
James Muir in the TMS inbox

“What’s this “gig” you played midweek anyway? Do you have other strings to your bow? I can’t see many people wanting to pay to see you staring out of a glass box, reading emails and supping tea.”
Robert W in the TMS inbox

1649 - 23-0 A Cook single and no-ball kick off the over, and Strauss thumps one down the ground for his fourth boundary, prompting Geoff Boycott to describe it as “the best shot Strauss has played for weeks” on TMS. England’s Ashes hero Gary Pratt is spotted supping champagne alongside Sir Bobby Robson in one of the Riverside’s Executive boxes. Gary is sporting a pink shirt which, unlike my colleagues, I have no problem with. To quote my old man, real men don’t fear pink.

“I’d wait until this girl finds out your home address before you make any decisions. That way, you have two choices: 1. Buy a new house 2. Have a relationship. Both cost roughly the same amount.”
Tom A in the TMS inbox

1643 - 17-0 A checked drive earns Cook two and he clips a single to fine leg for another. Strauss strikes another boundary off his pads to end the over and it’s a little wayward from the Windies bowlers at the moment.

“Totally agree with your comments at 1548. Amazed TMS aren’t saying similar on the radio. OK, Ganga is a stand in captain, but at 2-0 down with little chance of losing this one, at least WI could play for some pride.”
Mohammed Hussain in the TMS inbox

1639 - 10-0 If Andrew Strauss is to emerge from his current slump he has to enjoy a bit of luck, and he gets his first slice as he cuts away uppishly for four from Edwards’ third ball of the over. It was a no-ball anyway, but a second gully might have snaffled that on another day. And he grabs his second boundary of the over with a flick off his legs. Good over for England that.

“Her name isn’t Sarah is it…?”
David, London in the TMS inbox

“You don’t know when you are well off. My last three dates were a girl who sees dead people, a lass who had her own dungeon and last but not least a girl who got arrested during the actual date. I tend to stay in these days!”
Dave H in the TMS inbox

1634 - 1-0 Daren Powell will share the new ball with Edwards, and with a similar action the seamer gets some similar movement in the air. Alastair Cook remains watchful, though, and it’s a maiden. Quiet start from England - those who were hoping for a Twenty20 style slogathon appear to have been disappointed.

“As the ‘wise woman’ told Blackadder, Sam, you’ve got three options:
1, Kill yourself
2, Kill her
3, Kill everyone else in the whole wide world.”
Gary P in the TMS inbox

“I wonder how many girly hearts have just been shattered at the news of your midweek stalker, Sam…”
Sarah, Canterbury in the TMS inbox

1630 - 1-0 Good first over from Fidel Edwards, finding some swing back into Andrew Strauss’s pads, but the out-of-sorts England opener negotiates the over well, with just a no-ball coming off it.

“Surely if she is a stalker she’ll be reading this and as such will no longer want anything to do with you as you have insulted her on the internet. She may even sue for libel depending on how well up on internet related law she is. And if she isn’t a stalker but is reading this, she’ll still dump you and you will have blown your chances with a someone who is “rather lovely”, in effect shooting yourself in both feet and then in the crotch. Twice.”
Nick R, West Midlands in the TMS inbox

“I say if you don’t own a pet rabbit then go for it Sam.”
Mark, Worthing in the TMS inbox

“Sam, given that you mention she reads the clockwatch, I don’t think she’ll be too happy that you just called her a “stalker” and essentially said “so this right nutter has been following me around for a bit”. And if she is a nutter, that could have repercussions.”
Adam Bayfield in the TMS inbox

“Breaking news - Hick has just hit his 40,000th run. What an achievement from England’s greatest enigma.”
Murdo in the TMS inbox

1618: Right, in among the thousands of emails we receive via TMS (a million thanks once again for those) one girl sends one into my personal account, which is a little worrying right off the bat because it’s not one I’ve ever mentioned in my clockwatch. Anyway, apparently she’s taken a liking to my commentary - which is nice - and wants me to take her out. I don’t reply, for fear of being greeted by a weirdo obviously, but then I am confronted by her at a gig I played in midweek in Islington! I mean, that’s a bit of a leap right? The thing is, she’s rather lovely, we had a great time and we’re going to meet again soon - so my question is this; should I be afraid? And what do we tell people when they ask how we meet? Answers on a postcard (or email preferably) please…

WEST INDIES INNINGS

1603 - WICKET! Collymore lbw Panesar 13, 287 all out
Hallelujah! Panesar wraps up the Windies innings, firing one into Collymore’s pads and the tail-ender finally misses one and it’s an easy decision for Aleem Dar. That 10th-wicket stand was worth 58 runs. The players will now take tea and, when we return, I’ll liven things up by telling you the story of my midweek stalker…

1602 - 287-9 Another maiden from Sidebottom and Chanderpaul has now not scored a run for 18 balls.

“I’d like to suggest a set of giant novelty stumps, one of those tiny autograph bats and a smaller ball. At least this would mean a little amusement for everyone involved.”
Pete, Norfolk in the TMS inbox

1559 - 287-9 Collymore breaks the shackles with a mis-directed hoik over the infield for a couple, before he is done all ends up last delivery, the ball missing the stumps by a couple of coats of paint.

“Sam, do you think that Straussy has bribed Shiv to bat for the ENTIRE test so that he doesnt have to?”
Jon, Milan in the TMS inbox

“On the subject of appraisals: an old O Level History teacher of mine wrote at the foot of one of my essays, “Polysyllabic guff” - which I thought was a compliment at the time!”
Steve Waters in the TMS inbox

1556 - 285-9 Bless ol’ Sidey - he’s about as intimidating as the Andrex puppy but he does try. A feigned throw back at the stumps almost has Chanderpaul raising an eyebrow, but the batsman opts instead to stare casually back at the bowler, barely suppressing a yawn. Another maiden - the third in a row. Yes, third. I know…

1552 - 285-9 Panesar, at least, is causing Corey Collymore some problems. He beats the bat with some decent bounce off a length and Colly digs another out from under his feet, but no breakthrough for England and it’s another maiden. That, added to the fact that your emails appear to have dried up, makes me one unhappy bunny.

“Couldn’t they just abandon this match as it’s so obviously heading for a draw? Gives me one less sporting thing to watch today - between La Liga final, the Grand Prix, the England U21s and this, I’ve never had such a sporting frenzy during the football close-season (except for the 2k5 ashes of course).”
Matt, Chester in the TMS inbox

1548 - 285-9 Another Sidebottom maiden and Chanderpaul is in no hurry whatsoever. No matter that there are only two and half days left of the Test. No matter that the Windies are 2-0 down in the series and need to take 20 wickets to snatch some pride from the tour. And no matter that he’s boring us all rigid. Pure selfishness if you ask me - take a swing son! I suggest the adoption of one-hand-one-bounce as a method of taking wickets in the next half hour in an attempt to liven things up, who’s with me?!

“No idea what an appraisal is, but a teacher, when marking an essay of mine, once wrote “LOL” next to a paragraph I had written on Milton. I actually found it quite humbling…”
Chris Greenwood in the TMS inbox

“You cannot refer to Joanna Lumley as ‘that blonde bird’! It’s like describing Sir Ian Botham as ‘that fat bloke’!”
Vic Marks berates Tony Cozier on TMS

1542 - 285-9 We’re into the extra half-hour, with tea delayed here, as Chanderpaul pinches three from Panesar’s over. However, no matter how many hints I drop, not one of my colleagues has offered to get me a brew. This country…

1539 - 282-9 Sidebottom returns to the attack but Collymore is looking more the part every delivery. Good, solid defence behind each delivery and it’s a maiden.

“I’m sitting here reading the Live Text, waiting for the WI tail to collapse instead of writing appraisals. Now that I’m a couple of hours behind, does anyone have any pearls of wisdom that I could offer my appraisees?”
Matt, Oxford in the TMS inbox

1535 - 282-9 Panesar does continue…but it does not yield the desired result. Collymore flicks one for a single first ball and Chanderpaul smashes Panesar for six next up, slog-sweeping the spinner high over the boundary. The Montster does at least keep Collymore on strike with an accurate end to the over, though.

“Regarding the npower girls, I wouldn’t be too jealous if I were Aggers. At Old Trafford last year I was having great banter with one of them - she’s laughing at my jokes, being very friendly, “I’m in here”, I thought. Turns out she was like that with everyone. I expected a day’s cricket, didn’t expect my heart to be broken aswell. You’re well out of it, Aggers.”
Dave Hunter, Warrington in the TMS inbox

1531 - 275-9 Chanderpaul works one round to the boundary for a couple and this partnership, already the third best of the Windies’ innings, is now just four short of a half-century.

“Is Joy from North Yorkshire the BBC e-mail police? How else would she know what is in your inbox? I suspect if she looked in the hidden folders she may find something more interesting eh Sam!!”
Stuart, Preston in the TMS inbox

1527 - 273-9 Well I say change of ends, but Monty is causing some problems here. Plenty of flight, some good bounce and twice he goes past Collymore’s edge. The number 11 sweeps away for a couple last ball, but for the first time in a while he did not look comfortable. Keep the Montster going says I!

1525 - 271-9 The crowd wake up a touch to cheer Monty Panesar who fields well to keep Chanderpaul down to two from a drive in front of midwicket. And they will have more to cheer in a bit as Monty is doing some warm-ups. Just a change of ends you would think.

1520 - 269-9 Chanderpaul, who lest we forget was dropped on nine by Ian Bell, continues to accumulate with Collymore. It’s four from Hoggard’s over, three from the Shiv driven off the front foot in front of square, and Michael Vaughan is starting to scratch his head a bit.

“Great bowlers though Sidey and Hoggy are, is anyone hankering for the days of the long limbed fiery fast bowler? (Harmy doesnt count as he’s too nice a bloke and cant hit the cut square) All this honest toil, farmers’ haircuts and wicketkeepers standing up reminds me of watching Sussex at Eastbourne in the ’70s… John Spencer bowling at 70mph with a sponsored Avenger in the car park.”
Bill Fredericks in the TMS inbox

1515 - 265-9 After a few brief choruses of “barmy army” a few minutes ago, you could hear a pin drop at Chester-le-Street now as the crowd wait for England to clean up the Windies innings. A Collymore single precedes a stroke through the covers for two from Chanderpaul, but thrilling cricket this is not.

“That chap with his toe in the coke can. The solution is the Ranulph- Fiennes treatment for his frostbitten appendages: mallet and chisel in the garden shed. What’s wrong with English men these days?”
Peter McGrath, Whitby, North Yorkshire in the TMS inbox

1511 - 262-9 England finally take the new ball and Hoggard gets some shape, finding the edge of Chanderpaul’s bat but it goes down for four to third man. Just the boundary from the over and this is increasingly looking like a decent score on this wicket.

1506 - 258-9 Another maiden from Steve Harmison - the only trouble being that Collymore didn’t have to play at one with all six deliveries missing the stumps. Hhmm…very frustrating.

“The quality of the emails in your inbox make it VERY easy to concentrate on the cricket!!”
Joy, North Yorkshire in the TMS inbox

Sounds like a challenge people…

1501 - 258-9 Matthew Hoggard returns and, with the ball still swinging, the new ball remains untaken. The seamer leaks four byes with a wide one outside off that Prior parries past first slip, and Chanderpaul crunches another one square of the wicket for a boundary off the last delivery of the over. This partnership is now worth 29 and it’s all a little frustrating.

“The Npower girls are doing the rounds and handing out water to the photographers, which always makes us feel left out here”
Jonathan Agnew on TMS

1458 - 250-9 Hamison continues, with the new ball available, but England opt to continue with the old cherry. It’s accurate enough and it’s a maiden.

1454 - 250-9 Collymore hand Chanderpaul the strike with a single first ball, but Sidebottom restricts Chanderpaul with five dot balls. Strange tactics here from the diminutive batsman if you ask me, is he relying on Colly to get the runs?

1449 - 249-9 Steve Harmison continues and it’s better from the Durham paceman. Pitching short of a length just outside off and Chanderpaul can’t get bat on ball. A well disguised slower ball prevents Chanderpaul pinching the strike, though Collymore has held up his end rather well so far so that might not be too bad for the Windies.

Simon, Birmingham - the consensus of opinion on your toe-stuck-in-a-coke-can problem appears to be to have not put it in there in the first place. Glad to have been of service.

“You sound down Sam. Does Ben have an air of superiority about him because of the size of his appreciation society compared to yours? It’s all covering up for something.”
Ang, Brixton in the TMS inbox

1442 - 249-9 Another accurate over from Sidebottom, with one delivery almost sneaking through Collymore’s defence and onto the pads, but the tail-ender does well to clip one Ian Bell for another couple. The suggestions here in the office is to place a fielder in front of square and one behind as Colly keeps playing that shot. Are you listening Michael Vaughan?

1437 - 247-9 Four more cheap runs for the Windies, Harmison sending one down leg and Chanderpaul - according to umpire Cranefield, sorry Bowden - clips it fine for his 16th boundary of the innings. Five dot balls otherwise, and no single off the last ball.

“I would like to see jelly wrestling between the BBC website commentators to decide who is the best. None of this fan group business, just plain old-fashioned wrestling in jelly! Dirs, Fordyce and Lyon fighting it out for the undisputed crown to be king of text commentry!”
David, Christchurch, NZ in the TMS inbox

David, if Facebook ‘fan’ group numbers are anything to go by - Dirsy would kick my and Tom’s backside.

1432 - 243-9 Decent over for the Windies. Collymore clips one over the infield for a couple and then gets Chanderpaul on strike with a single. Chanderpaul, still nursing that bruise on his elbow from Harmison earlier, show no ill effects when cracking Sidebottom through the covers for another fine boundary. And the batsman pinches a single off his legs last ball to keep the strike.

“Is Nick from Stockholm actually HOPING Sarah from Canterbury is a bearded, six foot tall academic in his late forties? It takes all sorts I suppose.”
Carole, Maidenhead in the TMS inbox

“Have just got my little toe stuck in an empty can of Diet Coke. Can’t get through to NHS Direct. Any wise ideas?”
Simon, Birmingham in the TMS inbox

1427 - 235-9 Grievous Bodily Harmison ties Chanderpaul up nicely outside off, with the batsman flailing at a couple, but he sends a wide one down last delivery and Chanderpaul cracks a brilliant shot through point for a boundary and that is his 16th Test century. Another formidable innings from the little man.

“While Sarah from Canterbury sounds rather lovely, I can’t help but think that in reality she’s a bearded, six foot tall academic in his late forties.”
Nick, Stockholm in the TMS inbox

1422 - 231-9 So close! Big inside edge from Collymore off Sidebottom’s final delivery and it flies inches wide of Ian Bell at short leg. He pinches two and Chanderpaul will be on strike next over, which is some consolation for the tourists I suppose.

1420 - WICKET! Edwards b Sidebottom 5, 229-9
Edwards has had enough of this poking around lark it seems and swings his arms at Sidebottom’s first ball, thick-edging it over the slips for four. He leaves the next ball and it bounces narrowly over off stump. No such luck off the fifth ball, though, as Sidebottom gets one to come back in and it rips his off stump out of the ground. That’s Sidey’s first international five-for and the Windies are in danger of abandoning Chanderpaul two short of his century…

1416: Forgive the delay, Chanderpaul is still receiving treatment on that elbow…but it looks like he’s going to carry on, much to the chagrin of the Riverside faithful who want England in as soon as possible…

“My wife and I had a lively ‘discussion’ last night on which is more important: Fathers Day or Mothers Day. Needless to say no agreement was reached, and we are still not talking!”
Dave, Sultanate of Oman in the TMS inbox

1412 - 225-8 Edwards survives the first three deliveries, keeping his bat out of the way of Harmy’s stuff, but then almost dollies one to mid-off only for it to drop short and he grabs a single. Chanderpaul decides he can’t afford to wait around and he swings his arm at a wide-ish one and it flies over the slip cordon for four. He tries a pull off the last ball, misses, and wears a nipper on the left elbow. And it hurt…

“Just eating a strawberry and pomegranate flavoured yogurt, very nice it is too, so that is my choice of Jelly flavour, with errrr Sarah from Canterbury as my adversary. Surely she counts as a cricket celebrity by now.”
Steve, Mirfield in the TMS inbox

1407 - 220-8 Ryan Sidebottom keeps Chanderpaul quiet with some accurate bowling and a fabulous stop in the gully from Ian Bell prevents Shiv pinching a single late in the over. A maiden, and Steve Harmison will get a bowl at Fidel Edwards.

“It’s now 1400 BST and no Father’s Day word from any of my three children. Can you pass a word to them: if I do not hear from them today, then tomorrow I shall change my will and leave all my worldly goods to my goldfish.”
John Dennis, Venezuela in the TMS inbox

“Oh, man!! I’ve just woken up after a killer night watching Muse at Wembley last night and having just caught up with the clockwatch have realised it’s Father’s Day. Do you think the ‘I was kinda pushed and shoved in a crowd of thousands of people last night and am in a considerable amount of pain plus have no voice left so can’t even pop out to the supermarket for a 99p card and a rubbish tin of shortbread’ excuse will work?! If not, all suggestions will be welcomed.”
Sarah, Bucks in the TMS inbox

1402 - 220-8 Fidel Edwards shows Powell what he should have done, keeping his bat well out of the way of the rest of Harmison’s over.

1359 - WICKET! Powell c Prior b Harmision 1, 220-8
Powell shows no sign of batting sensibly to help Chanderpaul reach three figures, pulling at Steve Harmison’s first ball and smashing Ian Bell in the gut at short leg. It goes down but it matters not as he repeats another outrageous pull next ball and it flies up in the air for Matt Prior to pouch easily. Sheer lunacy from the tail-ender and Chanderpaul looks on with disgust.

1356 - 220-7 Daren Powell gets off the mark first ball and Chanderpaul, who is fast running out of partners as he approaches another Test hundred, survives a bouncing last delivery.

1352 - WICKET! Ramdin c Collingwood b Sidebottom 13, 219-7
Sidebottom strikes! More good movement for the seamer and he finds Ramdin’s edge which flies at Collingwood close in at second slip, who takes a fine sharp chance in front of his face.

“Sam - something just occurred to me while the players are at lunch. Are yourself, Dirs and Fordyce all from Essex? We have become accustomed to Dirsy’s Essex-based humour and you have just made a reference to Redbridge. If so, is the BBC car park full of Ford Escort XR3i’s?”
Paul, Las Palmas in the TMS inbox

1349 - 218-6 Bit of a surprise as Collingwood takes the first over after lunch. Shiv ‘The Robot’ Chanderpaul takes one off the first delivery and Ramdin strokes a delicious drive through the covers for four. Another couple and a single to end the over and that’s seven from the over. A brief experiment I’d wager. Vaughan is still chewing away at something in the outfield - what on earth did he have for lunch that he couldn’t finish in 40 minutes?!

1342: The players are making their way out for the afternoon session, with the weather showing no sign of intervening which can only be good news. Oh, and I’d have David “Bumble” Lloyd in Blackcurrant. I can’t explain why. But one thing’s for sure - I’d kick him from here until next Tuesday.

“With conditions as they are, with a bit of swing in the air, I do fear that Jonathon has made a schoolboy error of judgement. Dickie bird favours Raspberry over any other gelatinous flavourings in such conditions. On a hot dusty day then raspberry may be the great grappling leveller hes hoping for, but today? Not a cats chance in Hull. Me? taking into account the outfields conditions I’d take Tuffnell in Lime or maybe Gladstone small in tangerine.”
Ian, Stockholm in the TMS inbox

“Allan Lamb in mint flavoured jelly!”
HNS in the TMS inbox

“I would have to chose Gatting, then chose his favourite flavour jelly, and then take him by surprise when he starts to eat the playing arena.”
Alexander, “revising” in London in the TMS inbox

“Jelly scares me. Can I have custard or rice pudding instead? If so, I’d have custard and be against David Gower. Anyone could take David Gower.”
Jack, London in the TMS inbox

“I would like to see Inzamam vs Dickie in lime jelly please.”
B Woodcock in the TMS inbox

1332: While we all polish off our lunches, check out Graham Gooch’s latest blog offering, in which he discusses his thoughts on the England one-day captaincy…

Click here

“I am happily avoiding the heat and looking busy watching the excellent commentary. A question just occured to me - if you were invited into a cricket celebrity jelly wrestling match, who would you choose to wrestle and what flavour would you choose? My personal preference would be raspberry and against Dickie Bird.”
Jonathan Bygrave in the TMS inbox

I shall address this frankly wonderful question in a bit Jonathan…

1303 - 211-6 Sidebottom almost makes the crucial breakthrough as Chanderpaul inside-edges onto his pads first ball, but it falls short of a return catch. ‘The Shiv’ pinches a single off the fourth delivery to give Sidey two balls at Ramdin and the field comes in, with six men catching either side of the wicket. And it almost pays off! Ramdin edging one low through the slip cordon for four - it wasn’t a chance, but good lines from Sidey. And that’s lunch people! Chanderpaul on 92, Ramdin 7…see you in 40…

“To Aliy in Tokyo, its father’s day in japan too. And to my great dad who is also in norfolk, happy father’s day too!!!”
Robert Gold, sendai, japan in the TMS inbox

1258 - 206-6 It’s not the Hoggmonster but Collingwood who will get an over before lunch as Panesar is given a rest. And the local boy finds some good swing away from Ramdin, who negotiates the over relatively comfortably without scoring. There’s time for one more over…

1254 - 206-6 Sidebottom is getting some really good swing now. Perhaps a brief blast from Hoggy at the other end might be in order before lunch. ‘Sidey’ again thinks he has snuck one through Ramdin’s defence with an inswinger, but the wicket-keeper flicks it away late for a single. Chanderpaul moves into the 90s with a measured push through the covers. Top fielding from Cook at extra cover prevents more runs from the last delivery.

“Anyone know of any good hangover cures? Because i could really use a good one right about now.”
Dan Jay in the TMS inbox

1250 - 202-6 Couple of singles from the over from Panesar, leaving Billy Bowden looking utterly bored at the bowler’s end. Which reminds me - Billy is an absolute spit for my old primary school teacher in Redbridge, Mr Cranefield. Nice enough bloke but complete comedy character for the most part. I remember one legendary occasion when he was refereeing a football match (dressed in tight shorts, long socks, plimsoles - the works) and he literally trod a into the ground as he was distracted by a yummy mummy on the sidelines. He didn’t even bat an eyelid. Marvellous.

1246 - 200-6 Great ball first up to Denesh Ramdin, Sidebottom swinging one into his pads that the wicket-keeper batsman does well to dig out at the last minute. Sidebottom’s agonised reaction causes much amusement to Matthew Hoggard in the outfield, who revels in goading his swing partner.

1242 - WICKET! - Samuels b Sidebottom 19, 199-6
Sidey makes the breakthrough! Vaughan reshuffles his slip cordon, sewing the seed in Samuels’ mind that Sidebottom will push one across him, only for the Notts man to swing it behind the batsman’s legs and take out leg stump. Sour end to what was a dogged innings from Nasser Hussain’s biggest fan.

“That’s a selfish bit of cricket there from Samuels”
Sir Viv Richards on TMS

1239 - 198-5 First hint of a mistake from Chanderpaul this morning, attempting a sweep to Panesar and gloving it narrowly past Prior behind the stumps for two. Doesn’t stop him repeating the shot next ball for one, mind. A near disastrous mix-up on what should have been a comfortable run fifth ball has Chanderpaul scrambling back to the bowler’s end, but Kevin Pietersen’s throw does not come in sharply enough and the batsman survives.

1235 - 195-5 Apart from Prior continuously chatting away behind the stumps, it’s all a bit quiet at Chester-le-Street. The Windies are very comfortable - Chanderpaul could be batting in his own backyard for all the nerves he’s displaying - and it’s three from Sidebottom’s over.

1230 - 192-5 Just a single from another decent over from Panesar but the Windies are looking comfortable.

“Lyon - Do you ever mix it up with the heavyweights of the TMS team? Just trying to imagine what you and Blowers would chat about over you tea and cake (not for one minute suggesting that you are not a heavyweight in the TMS team)”
Guy, Milan in the TMS inbox

1227 - 191-5 Haha, Prior takes his goading of Samuels to another level by singing something indeterminable into his ear. I think the words “help me” were involved, but I can’t place the song. It wasn’t nearly in tune as far as I’m aware in my defence. Samuels prods one over Cook at short leg as he starts to get nervous and Sidebottom is furious two balls later when he gets the edge, only for it to drift between first and third slip for four. Samuels clips an inswinger off his pads for four and that’s the 50 partnership between this pair.

“Sarah from Canterbury frets needlessly - her fish, being a fish, will have forgotten she was ever named after the prancing spin king within minutes of being renamed Montina. And, if not, tell the fish that things can always be worse and she (the fish, not Sarah) could’ve been named Beefy instead of Monty.”
Mark Smith in the TMS inbox

1223 - 182-5 Chanderpaul, so comfortable against spin, rocks back and cuts a short-ish Monty delivery for four first up before taking the single to rotate the strike. Bit of drift into Samuels pads next up from the Montster and an inside-edge saves the batsman from what might have been a decent lbw appeal. Prior is chirping away…”you’ve dug yourself a hole here”…”you can’t get it away can you?”…nothing that would make the top 10 sledges of all time, of course, but still…

1218 - 177-5 One seriously dodgy barnet replaces another as Sidebottom comes on for Hoggard. A single from Chanderpaul brings Samuels on strike, and Vaughan immediately brings his field in, looking to tempt the big shot from the batsman. Samuels resists, but the differing angle of Sidebottom’s left-armers has him in trouble outside off a couple of times. Decent return from the Eric Idle/Roger Daltrey/etc lookalike.

Sugar in your tea? That would have been quite unacceptable during the decline of slavery where sugar, as it was imported from plantations in the Caribbean, was seen as a symbol of oppression. Thought you might be interested in that little-known fact.”
Alex, Manchester in the TMS inbox

1213 - 176-5 Not too much encouragement for Monty Panesar yet today, though he continues to keep the batsmen honest by keeping the ball in the right areas. A couple of singles and a little excitement from the last ball, Samuels lunging forward and defending the ball slightly uppishly back down the pitch. Nothing like a chance, but Monty will want to see more of that.

1210 - 174-5 Hoggard continues with his dead-on accuracy, albeit with gentle rather than prodigious swing. Chanderpaul adopts a textbook defence for the first few balls and then clips a rare leg-side delivery for four through midwicket for the over’s only scoring shot.

“Sam, I am traumatised and need your advice. I have discovered that my fish Monty, named after our spinning legend, is in fact a female. I am worried that changing her name to Montina will cause her greater suffering than to keep what is, after all, a name that epitomises manliness. Please help…”
Sarah, Canterbury in the TMS inbox

“Speaking of Muse… my own mother is going to their concert today and she doesn’t even know who they are.. I cried when she told me (well not really, but you know what i mean).”
Sam, Kent in the TMS inbox

Old people at a concert Sam? It shouldn’t be allowed should it…

1203 - 170-5 The Montster comes on for the first time this morning, and he bobbles one off Chanderpaul’s pads first ball, much to the excitement of those around the bat. A single from Shiv and a Samuels nudge for two from the over and that’s drinks. Mine’s a tea, thanks, white, one sugar.

“Shouldn’t it technically be yourenotme.com? Your/you’re mess-up in a URL. Genius.”
Gary Ramm in the TMS inbox

Not only is it grammatically incorrect Gary, but judging by the emails I’m receiving it’s not very accurate either - about a dozen people claim not to even exist. Although I like the site’s claim that these people must therefore be ’some kind magic pixie, elf, carrot or vampire’. Why would it make them a carrot?

1158 - 167-5 Another tight little maiden (ooh-er) from the Hoggster. The Yorkshireman has now conceded just seven runs from his seven overs this morning - how England missed his remarkable control earlier in the series.

1154 - 167-5 First sign of totty-watch from the cameraman mid-over, but it’s slim pickings so far at the Riverside which is a shame. Chanderpaul is less concerned, however, and he cuts a wide Sidebottom delivery for a couple first ball, before trying to repeat the shot next ball - only to be beaten by a bit of bounce. Another couple come through cover and Chanderpaul ends the over with another cut behind square for four. Eight from the over.

“In reply to Mr Hemingway, I should imagine there’s thousands of Mark Taylors around, international cricketers and rugby players amongst them, but I doubt if there are many saddled with the middle name of Sanford. I have my dad to thank for that, no wonder he’s still waiting for his fathers day card.”
Mark S Taylor in the TMS inbox

1150 - 159-5 Chanderpaul chops the first ball wide of gully for a single first ball to bring Samuels back on strike. Great control from Hoggard and Samuels takes a breather to ask Kevin Pietersen to tie his shoelaces. Viv Richards on TMS suggests KP should tie them together - and that’s his countryman! I hate to think how Sir Viv treats his enemies huh? Five dot balls to finish.

“Not only does www.yournotme.com confirm that I am the only Chaz Brenchley in the UK - if I put in the name on my birth certificate (you know, the official record, the real thing) it assures me that I don’t exist at all. How cool is that?”
Chaz Brenchley in the TMS inbox

1144 - 158-4 Sidebottom takes over from Harmison and it’s a decent start from the Notts seamer. Three slips, a gully, a short leg and short mid-off surround Samuels and it’s five dot balls to start until the Jamaican guides it behind square on the off side for his first boundary of the day.

“Yes Sam, but can your four-year-old niece write killer riffs?”
Paul, Vauxhall in the TMS inbox

Can Muse, Paul?

1140 - 154-5 Hoggard continues to swing the ball nicely, and Samuels does well not to nick a good one just outside off. Silly point is now in the batsman’s eyeline and, with Prior still up to the stumps, there’s a bit of decent chat - largely unpublishable - around the bat. Samuels pinches a single last ball but he does not look comfortable.

1135 - 153-5 Chanderpaul breaks the shackles after a miserly start from England, getting four leg byes off his pads to a wayward Harmison delivery, before nicking another leg-side delivery down to fine leg for another boundary. Harmison ends with a couple of short ones that Chanderpaul easily avoids, and it could be time for Ryan Sidebottom to turn his arm over.

“According to www.yournotme.com there are five people called Sam Lyon in the UK. “There’s only five Sam Lyons” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, and the grammar is appalling. Anyone out there with a unique name?”
Alex Hemingway, London in the TMS inbox

1131 - 145-5 Prior tries to nick out Samuels, whipping off the bails with the batsman wandering around in his crease to Hoggard - and it was closer than it should’ve been for the Jamaican. Samuels is yet to settle out there and while no-one is very sure whether Prior should be up to the stumps, as he is, or back, his presence is clearly causing the batsmen some concern. Another maiden from the Hoggbogger.

“Some cricketers are very statistically minded about their runs and wickets, but I don’t think Hoggard is one of them,” Jonathan Agnew on TMS
“You mean some people don’t keep count?”
Geoff Boycott’s response

“Going to the cricket on tuesday. Should be a good one. Any suggestions for what to scrawl on my England flag? ‘You’ve been Vaughaned’ or ‘Do The Sidebot’ are a couple i came up with. Answers on a postcard please…”
Joe, Carlisle in the TMS inbox

1127 - 145-5 A couple for Chanderpaul through midwicket and a single through the covers brings Marlon Samuels - who apparently is the president, and presumably sole member, of the Nasser Hussain fan club - to the crease for his tour debut. A sharp one into his ribs from Harmison has him prodding nervously short of Alastair Cook at short leg, before he pinches a single to get off the mark last ball of the over.

“Not only did you forget about Fathers Day, but you also forgot about my birthday (which is today as well)… shame on you sir!”
Eamonn Moore (and a similar one from Laura Oakes) in the TMS inbox

1122 - WICKET! Bravo b Hoggard 44, 141-5
First sign of danger for Bravo, as he inside-edges a Hoggard delivery just past his own stumps and short of keeper Matt Prior. Prior responds by coming up to the stumps - sans helmet, the brave lad - and Hoggard and England keep Bravo waiting for his second run of the morning with some decent swing and sharp fielding. And the pressure tells! Bravo goes at a short-ish one and inside edges onto his stumps off the last delivery of the over. Could be a key breakthrough, that.

“Dirs may have a Wikipedia page, but he lacks the sufficient amount of syllables in his surname to fit into the “There’s only one…” crowd chant. Unlike yourself, Sam. I reckon that makes you equal. Or at least it would if anyone sang it.”
Chris Coyne in the TMS inbox

1118 - 141-4 Harmison, although still not at his best by a long shot, looks so much more comfortable at the moment compared to his early farings in this series. Chanderpaul grabs a couple down the ground for the only scoring shot from another accurate over, with a decent, sharp bouncer to finish.

“Hi, I went to see Muse at Wembley yesterday. Left north Wales at 0830 and got home 0420 this morning - well worth it, though, they were brilliant. Now if only England can perform as well today!”
Keith Davies, Betws Garmon in the TMS inbox

I must confess Keith, I’ve never really been a fan of Muse. Far too much high-pitched wailing for my liking. If that’s talent, my four-year-old niece clearly has a burgeoning rock career ahead of her.

1113 - 139-4 Glorious stroke from Chanderpaul to settle any early morning nerves, driving a full delivery from Hoggard through the covers for four, and he pinches a single to midwicket two balls later to bring up yet another half-century against England.

1109 - 134-4 Steve Harmison continues on his own stomping ground, and it’s nice accurate stuff from the Durham boy. Fair, but not express, pace and it’s just a single from the over, Chanderpaul flicking off his legs to square leg.

“I think I’m covered from missing Fathers’ Day due to the fact its celebrated in November over here…though my dad resides in the UK….do you think I can use this technicality?! Or can we split the difference?? If not….Happy Fathers Day dad! Not that he’ll read this….He’ll be on Ebay buying stamps…”
Ian, rainy Stockholm, in the TMS inbox

“Father’s Day? Yikes - I’m out in Japan and always forget Father’s Day - perhaps if you put out this message for me to my one-in-a-million fantastic Dad in Norfolk, he’d be happy.”
Aliy, Tokyo in the TMS inbox

1105 - 133-4 I tell you, there are few funnier things on a cricket pitch than a batsman being rapped in the mummy-daddy button by a seamer - except if you’re the said batsman I suppose. Hoggard’s first ball has Bravo doubled over in a flash, and Chanderpaul’s offer to ‘rub it better mate’ brings a stern refusal from the Trinidadian. Bit of swing for the Hoggmeister but it’s a little slow and Bravo negotiates the remaining balls, so to speak, comfortably. A maiden.

1101 - 133-4 And it’s a rather subdued opening to the day’s play, with Harmison’s two balls yielding just a single off his hips from Dwayne Bravo.

1058: The players are out on the pitch, England indulge in the customary - and rather pointless - huddle, during which time Matthew Hoggard steals a rather cheeky grab of Steve Harmison’s backside, and the Durham paceman will be first up to complete his over from last night. Here we go.

“Sam, have you seen that Dirs has a Wikipedia page? Are you not disappointed that no one has thought to create one for you yet?”
Pete Harmer, Norfolk in the TMS inbox

You know what Pete, it had never occured to me. But, checking Dirsy’s page, it is interesting to read he is “famed for wearing fitted shirts, his ability to sleep for days on end, a love of fried egg sandwiches and a strange penchant for stuffing soil into electrical appliances”…haha, you learn something new every day I suppose.

1051: A view from the soon-to-be Sir Ian Botham from the middle suggests, with a lot of cloud cover around and with moisture still in the pitch, conditions could be “even more favourable” for swing bowling today. Hoggy and Sidey should have a field day…just need to nip out that steadfast little blighter Chanderpaul early I reckon.

“Hope it’s a good day for the cricket and not the ducks… I’d love to stay but I’m off to see MUSE at the new Wembley! :)”
Ross Mc Givern, London in the TMS inbox

I just hope you’ll be tuning in via your WAP connection Ross. By the way - is the gap between the ‘c’ and ‘G’ in your surname deliberate? How odd.

1043: A quick glance around the Riverside and it’s good news - there are no covers on and a large gathering of the ground staff are amusing themselves standing around the pitch, which looks a bit drier than yesterday.

“Sam - are you feeling well this morning? A comment on your Facebook would suggest otherwise!! I expect a sparky performance during my dull revision…. only 5 exams to go!!”
Toby, London in the TMS inbox

I may have enjoyed a quiet couple of looseners last night, Toby, yes. But fear not, it takes more than a few pints and a dodgy kebab to dampen my enthusiasm so bring on the cricket baby!

“Today, if we’re on the boil and put the ball in the right areas, we hope to clean them up and see if we can make a match out of this.”
England seamer Ryan Sidebottom

1039: Right, first up - a confession. I totally forgot it was Father’s Day today until, erm, about two minutes ago when my colleague reminded me. So, in a flagrant abuse of my commentary privileges, I shall be dedicating today’s clockwatch to my old man…

I can’t help but love the way he gives away the endings to films he’s seen five minutes after I start watching them, the way he cries like a little girl at the end of movies like ‘Lost in Space’ (I know…), the fact Spurs enjoyed great success when he was a boy but since I’ve been alive, not so much, and the lessons he’s taught me about women, alcohol and work ethic…*cough*. Anyway, I want you all to send your Father’s Day dedications in to me to kick off the day…apologies in advance if I can’t publish them all…

“Although a day and a half of play has been lost, there could still be a positive result in this match, especially if England get amongst the lower order this morning”
BBC cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew

1028: Ok people, I’m back. And, hopefully, with a decent chance of a good day’s play. Showers are forecast, but those ‘in the know’ suggest we should get a fair amount of cricket in today, so let’s keep our finger’s crossed.